Looked at her in Love

“Do you spend some time thinking about what you want to say? Or you bitch about what you feel right at that moment? And do you think bitching about me to others would cure your problems?” He stuttered.

She said, “You also think before you speak. If you hurt me like that, don’t expect anything better from me?”

“Hurt? Do you even know that it spelled differently than a heart?”

“If you want to make fun of my education, go for it. Then, expect to hear unpleasant things amid your horrible stutter. It’s only me who had accepted you against the wish of my parents.”

“So do you feel bad about it now?”

“I wish I hadn’t pitied you.”

“Just think about this sentence. What do you get out from uttering such sentences?”

“I say what I feel like. It’s you who deduces different meanings from these simple sentences. What I mean is always clear?”

How can he defend himself in the absence of love? Just when he realized that how childish or unpleasant he would sound doing that, he looked away from him and told her to go away before he could say something that he would later regret.

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I wasn’t cheating on you

He confessed, “I wasn’t cheating on you.”

Even though he replied in negative, the use of word ‘cheating’ in the same sentence caused her immense pain. She wished to have only heard. “No. I didn’t do anything.” “I wasn’t involved.” If he can’t answer properly, it would have been for him to lie, as lie would calm her frantic mind. She didn’t want to face the demon right now; she was busy living her life and at this juncture of their relationship or her life, she couldn’t take it. But what the heck! She had to face it one day, why not now.

The pain it had caused couldn’t be put in words. She had read stories about cheating and adultery. Earlier, she had earlier dismissed them as plot points to make life of hero or heroine troublesome. She never invested them emotionally. Or she often laughed about them as she considered them as cliché of storytelling. Probably, it was because she was a scientist and her critical mind failed to sync with emotional needs of protagonists. When this understanding dawned upon her, the clouds of understanding burst open and she was almost drowned in the deluge that followed.

 

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Road with no Future

         

           Someone, who had met her at a random event, asked me how do you know her.

            I smiled. Not because she remembered me. He had asked me, “How do I KNOW her?” A simple question. I never thought if I will be asked this question, I will have no answer. Why people ask such simple and straightforward questions? The innocence with which they ask such questions hurt me more than questions. Plus, how could my simple answer justify the depth of their enquiry?

            I smiled because some months back I had been informed by her: this road has no future.

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