The Barking Dog

Once upon a time, there was a dog. Because he didn’t get meat during his childhood he developed this habit of continuous barking. He barked day and night without any provocations. Everyone around him made him feel inexorably bad so he decided to make life of others bad, if he were to make someone big and powerful.

As it so happened, he was selected in an animal institute as at lower position, under the leadership of cat. The official cat made him feel bad and told him to get rid of his barking.  The dog responded, “How can I get rid of it, it’s my nature to bark. ”

“You need to curb it else I will throw you out of this institute in five minute.”

The dog lowered his head and walked out. Whenever he felt like barking, he dug into some meat, as he could afford now. He didn’t want to lose this job, so he didn’t bark in the institution. But at home, the story was altogether different. He barked at his wife and his children with such anger that his canines were exposed. His family member were scared. In the mid of the night, his wife along with his children left him. Now, he didn’t have anything to lose. He decided to take matters in his own paws.  He invited the official cat to his house for dinner and fed him poisoned barbecued chicken. Then, he secretly got rid of him.

Next day, he got the charge of the animal institute; thanks to his loyalty to a barking politician. Ever since he became the leader of the institute, he told everyone that he was an incarnation of doggod. His words should be considered dog bible and whatever was out of his sermons should be considered as a sin. If anyone committed a sin, he/she should be thrown out of the institute in five minutes. He only selected those dogs or animals who told him that he is a hard working dog and his barking is normal.

***

One day, he got an email from an institute working for betterment of dogs for a lecture to their faculty members. He accepted the lecture on the condition that he will organize the stay and food of the attendee dogs. The institution accepted that condition. When the group arrived in the evening, some of attendee dogs decided to stay outside or eat outside, he barked at them and even he tried to bite them. Somehow, the group defended themselves.  He sniggered at them thinking who will save them from him in morning lecture.

In the morning, the dogs attendee came to him for a lecture. Instead of an informative lecture, he barked. He told them, “No dog except him are working seriously. If all of them were doing their job, the health of the country’s dogs would have been improved. Look at the condition of their sheds; it’s worse. You dogs are responsible for all this.”

“Aren’t you responsible for this?” One of the attendee asked.

“Don’t talk. Listen. I have worked for betterment of dogs for couple of decades now. Do you know I have invested so much money for dogcare?”

“How can we know?”

“Don’t talk. Just listen. If you don’t, I will throw you out in five minutes.”

Few of attendee walked out of the lecture. He was ready to attack the dogs who were leaving but the group’s supervisor offered him a seasoned turkey leg. He dug in the meat and calmed down a little bit. Then, he looked at the supervisor, “How disobedient dogs you have?”

The supervisor remained calm.

“You have seen how obedient dogs, cats and squirrels I have.”

“I know sir but please continue your informative lecture.” The supervisor replied.

“If you can’t bark like me, you aren’t dog.” He continued.

“That’s not right sir.” Someone from the attendance retorted.

“You know people in foreign country say, I bark the best.”

“That’s your opinion. Some dogs in this country bark much better than you.”

“Can anyone of you bark in foreign accent?”

Some attendee sniggered. This infuriated him even more.

“You don’t know anything. Listen to me else I will throw you out of the institute in five minutes.”

***

Somehow the lecture was over. At the gate of the institute, attendee met the servant of the dog. One of the attendee asked the servant, “He can afford enough meat now, why does he bark so much?”

“Poor dog, he misses his family.”

When the attendee readied for departure from the institute, they heard the dog’s barking. “Dogs of this country don’t deserve a dog like me.”

 

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People Pleaser

A people pleaser committed suicide. His girlfriend sits in the same park on the same bench, as if to relives the memories but with a sad, serene face in hope to find out the why did he end his life? He always said to her: you think like me. Now their like-mindedness is her biggest worry.

A random comment: what would you do now? shook the foundation of her existence.

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The Bitch and Me

I sat on a bench at the railway station and was eating my porridge. The bitch probably smelled the porridge and stood few feet away from me expecting me to give some portion to it. I tried to shoo her away. It moved back a little bit but came back, when I took a spoonful into my mouth. Few people, who sat the same bench where I sat, kept starting at me. Judged or not, I didn’t feel like sharing my breakfast with anyone, let alone with a bitch. But the bitch was persistent. I continued on eating. I didn’t try to meet the eyes of bitch. Once I saw into its eyes, I felt that I was heartless. But I didn’t give it to her demand. My worry was that why waste food on a bitch who may or my not like it. Or probably I was a selfish person who didn’t like to share his breakfast with a bitch.

Soon after, I looked around and found people staring at me in the same way exactly as the bitch was looking at me.

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Auspicious Occasion

Bhilu Ram along with other respected members of the SC category went to the village brahmin’s house.  The brahmin had gone to some work at city and his son asked the purpose of the visit. “I wanted to meet Panditji for getting the auspicious date for his son’s wedding.”

“But my father will only come home in the evening.”

“Can you do something? Like call your father or should we come tomorrow then?” He smiled and moments later, he added, “I want Panditji to consult the calendar and books to find an auspicious day, I have only one son.” Bhilu Ram was persistent.

“Sure.” The pandit’s son smiled. “I can talk to my father, let’s see what he says.”

He turned away from them, called his father and asked what he had been asked. “Give them any date. It doesn’t matter for shudras, whenever they get married. Auspiciousness and other good things aren’t for them. Don’t you know that?”

“Okay.”

He turned to tell them, “15 days from now…”but found them leaving the premises of his house.

It so happened during his father’s answer, the touch phone had gone to speaker phone.

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The Smoker’s Ego

I was in the local train. And I has sat on the top berth, which had a fenestrated wall through which I could see who was sitting on the other side. A guy was sat in the lower birth in the other side preached about abstaining meat from the diet. No one responded to his reasoning, yet he continued. Then, he lit a beedi. Few moments later, the smoke hit my nose and burned my eyes. If I wasn’t irritated with his biased talk with fixed ideology, the smoke kicked me into yelling out, “Stop smoking in here.”

“Who said it?”He yelled from his seat and got up. I looked through the grill. He was 6.5 feet, 120 kg men with red eyes of a drug addict. He continued, “What if I don’t?” Came the characteristic reply that you get when someone’s ego had been hurt. I said, “That won’t be a good thing.”

“Who are you? Who gives you the right to say something about smoking?”

“It’s against rule.”

“I fuck the rules. What will you do if I smoke?”

At that time, someone who was sitting in opposite side of me on top berth told me to don’t entertain him. Against the wish of my rule-abiding self, I kept myself mum.

He kept blabbering. My heart palpitated with an adrenaline surge and thought to confront him but none of the people in train compartment spoke anything against him. These must be the people he had won so far with his part religious part bullshit sermon or that they feared him to say a word: who knows what would he say to anyone and no one wanted to get humiliated. What stopped me from doing anything was the realization that I can’t fight him? And he didn’t have anything to lose. So, I didn’t react to whatever he had said despite the fact I wanted to do. Also, I can’t make him understand the effects of secondary smoking. Heck! He didn’t even know what is secondary smoking. So there is no use fighting with him verbally. I got angrier later not at him but at the crowd of getting up for their rights for accepting whatever this uneducated piece of shit had been telling so far. And a crazy idea took birth in my head to buy a pack of beedi and matchbox to light all the beedis in the train compartment to see whether they will wake up or not.

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Rules of Discrimination

They say there is nothing in the name. They are telling lies. The names tell us more than we needed to know. My thesis in social science dealt with collecting the data from people of SC category. There I’ve heard the names I’ve not heard before. It could probably be because of my privileged bringing. Otherwise, how could someone self-respected have name like Khunda (Blunt), Keechada (Muddy), Kala (Dark or Black), Phool (flower), Hazari (the leader of thousand people or soldiers), Rumali (like a handkerchief), Baru (??), Sarbati (like a liquor), Janglia (Wild one), Razo (??) etc? Some of these names were derogatory, others were meaningless and a few of them were surprisingly simpler. When I compared these names with other upper caste people such Prem (Love or affection), Vishnu (Lord Vishnu), Sriram (Bhagwan Ram or King Ram), Pulkit (Glad), Shiva (Lord Shiva), Kanhaiya (one of the names of Krishna), Lakhwant (Something related to money??), Karorimal (Something related to money??), Vidya (Knowledge), Sharmili (Shy one), Kavita (Poem), Shehnai (Clarinet) etc. I felt that somehow the SC people have been told to not call themselves or their newborns with the names reserved for upper castes or worse, the decades of oppression have made them timid enough to call their new-borns with meaningful names.

Can I rename them?

No.

Could I accord some respect to people suffering with their name, without knowing?

I don’t know but when I recorded their name in my notebook, I didn’t forget to put Mr. and Mrs. in front of their names.

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